I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m happier because I deeply understand that real happiness won’t always feel joyful or even euphoric. Many times happiness feels like peace or contentment.
True happiness is more about accepting yourself where you’re at in life. It’s being less judgmental of others. Happiness happens most often when you are enjoying the simpler things and remembering gratitude.
Being happier comes when you’ve learned how lucky you are to have the life you do. After all, more things could be worse in your life, and you could be in a worse situation.
The Stuff That Steals Your Happiness
When I was younger, I had many goals for what I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime. But, I didn’t have the patience I needed to be happy until I reached my goals. I wanted everything quicker than the time it took to work towards those goals.
Often, I would look at other people’s lives and see their success in their relationships, careers, finances, and the things they had. I would yearn for all the things they had in life without realizing the good things I had in my life. Continually looking at others kept me from doing what I needed to do to achieve my goals and dreams.
My habits that affected how happy I was were:
- Little self-acceptance for where I was at in life, who I was, and what my gifts were.
- Not enough focus on the good things I had in my life (gratitude).
- Comparing myself to others.
- Looking at others and wanting what they had to the point of jealousy.
- Not enough patience with myself or the time my goals were taking to achieve.
Sometimes it seems our minds are so complicated and hard to understand, but our mind controls our actions, desires, intentions, and happiness.
So to be happier, we could change the way we go about our lives by making sure we are focusing on the right things.
Get Your Mind Right To Be Happier
The five attitudes above made me very unhappy and stole my energy and my confidence. Fortunately, I decided to get my head right and start working for my happiness.
First of all, I realized that everyone is essential, gifted, worthy of love, and deserving of all good things, especially ourselves. But, we won’t always feel that way about our self. The important thing is to educate yourself on why you are all these things so you can believe it and be happier. Take time to personally acknowledge the things your good at, and the things about you that make you unique and interesting. Of course, you won’t be immensely interesting to everyone, but you are special because of the interests you have. All of you is what makes you unique and valuable. It’s the whole package!
In other words, if you enjoy arranging flowers you have the same value as a person who achieved their doctorate degree in college. If your floral skills are used in the little corner shop downtown you have the same value as a doctor who heals many people with his skills. Why? Your floral arrangements touch the hearts of many people. People’s hearts need healing too!
Everyone has something to contribute to our world and status and money are not what’s important. Status and money can be the worst thing that can happen in some people’s lives. It always brings more responsibility and concerns.
Once you have an understanding of your potential, and worth, you will find it easier to accept the pace of your life. Once you believe you deserve the good things you desire, it’s easier to believe those good things are in your future. But, don’t forget to be happy with what you have and where you’re at in life currently. Enjoy the journey.
Don’t compare yourself with others. Their life story is different than yours. All you can do from this point on is your best. When you are doing your life the best you know how you can wake up everyday looking forward to all the little joys you will experience. You can sleep well at night knowing you are lovable, worthy of all good things, and you tried your best throughout your day. Even on days when you think you’ve accomplished little you can try again tomorrow.
Understand The Power Of The Media And Marketing
At this point, I have to say happiness won’t come from pursuing the things mass marketing in our country suggests to us. Even though we all admit we already know this, it’s so easy to look at people who are already thin and fit, well off financially, and doing amazing things with their lives and end up feeling less important.
Life is too short to be hard on yourself for not measuring up to people in the way that the media portrays them.
Someday when you are in your last years, you want to be able to say you enjoyed your life. Otherwise, you will feel cheated, empty, and regretful. Start by finding things in every day that make you happy. Even the little things. Start being content with what you have, yet continue working for a better life if that’s what you want.
Know Your Worth
Remember, you are loveable, worthy, successful, special, unique, and strong. You are enough. If you want more, then you have to go and get it. If you are happy with your life the way it is, then enjoy it. You don’t have to measure up to anybody.
I recently accepted my desire to take things slower in life. I was tired of running a marathon everyday. My desire to be able to relax and enjoy certain things in my life out weighed the desire for anything I could get from packing more stuff to do in each day. Some people thrive on being busy but I do not! My life is more peaceful but I had to accept that it was ok to not have a packed schedule. Today the message out there seems to be that women can have it all and do anything we want. That’s true, but you have to be aware what that will cost you.
No matter what your situation, learn how to pull things out of your day to be happy about, to celebrate, to laugh at, and to love. These are the things that will bring you more happiness.
And let go of the things that make you unhappy.
What’s more important is whether you are doing the things that make you happy. I believe happiness comes from spending time doing what we are naturally gifted to do. Sometimes the things we enjoy are the things we typically do well. Living our life exploring, learning, and doing these things will bring us happiness.
If you can’t find a job where you feel useful and validated, keep looking. Sometimes to pay the bills it’s ok to have a job you don’t love, but it’s better to like what you do every day, have less stuff and be happier.
Good things take time. Some people seem to get things and go places in their lives a lot faster than others. Life is never fair and the sooner we accept it, the better. Give yourself the gift of patience. Find ways to enjoy yourself while you are working and waiting for a better future. Life should be fun and rewarding. Try not to worry about what your future will be like.
Just because someone else is doing better in life by taking their career further, making more money, or having more friends or a better marriage doesn’t mean you are a failure. These people still have things in their life that make them unhappy. Plus, You are not them, and you are allowed to be you.
You are allowed to work at your own pace and make the choices that make you different than the others. You are still important and successful. Our freedom to make different decisions in our life is what makes our lives beautiful.