When our big plans fail, and we can’t let go of the failure, we only hurt ourselves by holding on to it.
We may feel like punishing ourselves within our minds, for coming up with the idea or even fantasizing about ourselves being successful with our new plan. Failure is never fun, but it doesn’t have to kill our passion and cause us to give up.
Why did your plan fail?
Our plans fall apart, and many times we decide to give up, and we try not to think about the failure. But that darn thing keeps popping up in our heads, triggered by some similar event or conversation and once again we are just a little ticked at how something we put our time into didn’t work!
We don’t tell anyone because we are ashamed of failing. Well unlike what our parents or perhaps a teacher or family member may say such as “forget about it” or “I’m sure you will think of something” or even “at least you tried,” there is a correct and healthy way to handle a failure.
What are the facts?
All of the above implies you did something wrong and your stupidity can be forgotten. The fact is, you had an intention, a plan, and a goal when you started. Maybe you decided to try something new because you were bored, or you got pulled into an idea you saw and thought it was perfect for you. Is that a bad thing?
In addition to the misery of not meeting your goal, people tell you things that they have ingrained in their minds to say to you if you’re feeling down about your plan’s failure. The people who comment about your situation don’t always hold the key to success in their words.
Have A Firm Foundation Of These Beliefs
Take it all with a grain of salt, because the suggestions below are what you should be thinking. In fact, you might be better off not sharing your failure with anyone if you don’t have a firm foundation of these beliefs:
- Something in your thought processes gave you this idea, and you tried it. Applaud yourself for trying something new! There are book learning and hands-on learning. You need both.
- Surely you learned one or two new things, maybe more, while you were completing your plans. Continual learning is great for your brain!
- You still might be able to make this thing work. You can learn from your mistakes! Don’t make them again.
- Maybe this time around gave you a better idea, and a better plan that you would never have thought of had you not tried the first plan.
- Never look at plans that fail as your complete idiocy. Look at all the influences that caused the failure. Did you work with the wrong person on the project, maybe someone that wasn’t as wise as you thought? Did you move too quickly or too slow? Was the idea right but missing a piece of the puzzle?
- Did you spend too much time on the wrong things to complete the plan?
- Maybe you didn’t spend enough time on other things.
You thought it would be simple
The determination to spend the time thinking through all the steps you took and make changes to your plan doesn’t promise the plan will succeed this time around.
Too often we want things to be simpler than they are. Life doesn’t guarantee us a simple process to success. When we realize the time and effort our goals and plans require, our minds will shift to an advantageous mode.
There is a reason why you have a dream!
The best part about all of this is the realization that your not stupid, unsuccessful, or a useless dreamer. Your passions are there for a reason. You just aren’t finished!
Determination will give you the answers you need, and take you in the directions you want your life to go. Your idea is a part of who you are and what you believe in, so you should acknowledge it as a good thing. It’s a new start, and though at the end of the road your idea may be completely changed you will never find the right turns on the way if you never get started.
Ideas you may be interested in:
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Hi Patty,
Wow. I am so glad I read this post. I find that I am extremely hard on myself both professionally and personally. These tips are great reminders that at the end of the day, going through failure is just another part of the learning process. Being able to remind yourself of that is so important.
Thanks for writing this 🙂
Raquel
You’re Welcome. I’m too hard on myself too.
Great list of questions to ask yourself. Failure should be always be a learning experience!!
Yes, I agree.
Just keep doing it, very nice article , thanks for sharing
Exactly! Thanks.