Healing takes time, and though it may seem like forever some days this time will pass, and you must keep that in mind, all day, every day.
I know it’s all easier said than done, and some days will involve you just hanging on, but it will get better if you try. Below are a few tips on getting through a loss, broken and hurting heart, and moving on from a bad place.
Somehow Find Determination
Whether it’s anger because your life sucks right now, or sorrow, use the energy these thoughts want to suck from you and turn it into strength to walk in a new direction. Something new is appealing to most people, and maybe if you can think of this time as a new phase or journey in your life, or an opportunity to meet new friends, focusing on the wonderful things to come may be what you need to give a little oomph to your day.
Pick One Thing New To Do
All great things start with the first step. Keep life simple and think of one thing you can do on a regular basis, maybe once a week, that would improve your life. If it’s loneliness your struggling with, plan a way to meet new people and do it once a week. It could be going to a paint nite, asking friends from work to go out, inviting a neighbor over, or asking someone to go to the gym with you, etc. Maybe your social life is excellent but you would benefit from some pampering. Plan a massage once a month, do yoga a few times a week, or learn meditation. Write it in your planner if you have too.
Learn to do stuff even when you don’t feel like it.
Don’t stress yourself out, but push yourself to do something you don’t feel like doing, one or two times more often than you do now. Turn music on while you do it, or learn to encourage yourself with positive thoughts while doing it. Speak them out loud to yourself instead of only thinking about the encouragements. Ask someone to support you regularly. If not, encourage yourself, even if you have to write the encouraging thoughts down so you can read them to yourself when you need it (plan to on a daily basis).
Try to keep busy
Many people swear by keeping busy to get over rough patches. Depending on what you’re going through you might need more rest, but it’s up to you to figure out what you need and put it into action. Either way, you must decide to move on in your life because life won’t make you move on. You have to choose not to let this rough time destroy you and do what it takes for you to move on.
Take one step at a time to move toward a better future
What is it you always dreamed of and how can you run towards that dream. If it’s a bad relationship you are hurting from, allow yourself to dream of what a beautiful relationship would be for you. You deserve everything you can dream of, but you have to move towards that dream. Start with the simplest step you can take toward getting what you need. For example, plan something to do with friends once a week that will get you out around other people and keep your dream in mind.
Get Comfortable With Good Things Happening In Time
Knowing something will take time is one thing, and enjoying that time is another. Healing for anything rarely happens overnight. But on the other hand, it can happen faster than you might think. Something good could happen sooner than you ever dreamed. Practice paying attention to what your thinking and make sure it’s positive thoughts like: “I’ll be alright until something better comes along I just need to be patient” or “I can learn to enjoy my life even though it’s not exactly what I want right now.”
Practice Gratitude Twice A Day
Write down what you’re thankful for in the morning and at night and think of those things throughout the day, especially when it’s tempting to focus on your loss. Things could be worse for you. You could be sick, lost more friends or family, be homeless, cold, or hungry. There is probably a million people worse off than you. Think of them.
Don’t be too Hard on Yourself
I know how a terrible time affects you. When my husband had throat cancer, they found an aortic aneurysm four times the size they usually operate. The Vascular Surgeon it could burst at any time, but he was too week for surgery. He would die within 20 minutes if it did break. We were in the process of moving from our home on 32 acres that we loved and worked hard for 25 years to keep. Worse, we were losing it because we two different people scammed us for thousands of dollars. It seemed like a never-ending time of things going drastically wrong. Believe me, you can get through this! We never got our money back, and John still suffers from ailments from the cancer treatments, but we are still enjoying life.
Since you are in the process of healing give yourself a break if you are low on energy, make a mistake, unable to concentrate, or don’t have the desire to socialize as often as you usually would. You probably need more sleep, more positive energy around you, and healthier habits to support the stress you are feeling. Don’t let others lay guilt trips on you because you can’t keep up.